Shouting "This one's for you, Bullet", the OTP Chargers continued their post-Xmas good form by not letting Auckland Cricket Society into the game.
On a typical Auckland summer's day - sunny, stinking hot, with a threat of torrential downpours, the Chargers turned up to Glover Park No. 3 looking forward to a testing but good-spirited competition. Coup-waiting-to-happen skipper Dawson promptly either lost the toss or his mind, one of the two, but the result was the Chargers were in the field for the hottest part of the afternoon.
McCartain and Taylor opened the bowling with a tight over each before McCartain got things going with his second over, with Steve Martin making a difficult first slip chance look reassuringly easy, removing the dangerous Lee Gornall without scoring. Fellow opener Cam was removed not long after via a regulation caught behind a few overs later, again off The Boy, and then Dawson inadvertently made an effective bowling change by swapping Slide Rule Arnerich for Taylor, who immediately got rid of Mike caught in the gully by Haliburton.
The incompetent Dawson then let Arnie have the ball for another three overs, presumably to make a bit of a game of it, and ACS began to slowly accumulate runs. In an attempt to stem the flow, keeper Chambers positioned himself behind the batsman, on all fours, possibly in a tribute to Buster Keaton, causing Cowdrey to topple over him and badly hurt his knee. He left the field to be replaced by Rod.
Rod began hitting Flash Gordon to some of the many areas the Idiot Dawson had left undefended in the deep and runs began to flow. Dawson lurched back to temporary sobriety and removed Nerdy Boy from the crease, giving the nod to Hammer to try his luck. From the other end, however, Gordon tried tossing a few up to see what happened and got rewarded with a nice, casually taken caught and bowled to remove Rod just before drinks. At the break, ACS were 70 odd for four, with one batsman's status still to be determined.
After the break, Dawson cruelly took the ball from Whyte's bewildered claw, saying "You've had your two overs, go and field for me in the deep", and gave the ball back to his favourite two bowlers at the moment, Bruiser and Flash. Bruiser bowled quick and straight and was soon rewarded with Cowdrey's wicket, and then removed Andy for 37, leaving ACS in deep doo-doo at 91 for 6.
Gordon, not to be outdone, created a regulation midwicket catch for Wind, and then a ball later, in a travesty the cricketing gods must still be wringing their hands about, had Dave caught off a ball which nearly bounced on the pitch. Only a super-human effort by the batsman to hyperextend the arms allowed him to get a top edge to dolly to the ever-torpid skipper Dawson at point.
Bruiser ran through the remainder of the tail by bowling very straight and very fast, and ACS had set a total of 96. The skies were starting to darken though, and the Chargers had faltered chasing totals such as this before. Bruiser would up with 18-4, while Flash finished with 32-3 and the Ghost with 14-2.
Lee Gornall is probably the quickest opposition bowler in the grade, and bowls with a lot of control and guile, so it was important for Bede and Windy to
1/ Not get sawn off by an umpire
2/ Not run each other out
3/ Absorb as much of Lee's spell as they could to protect the rest of the Chargers from a dangerous bowler.
Larry himself is not to be taken lightly, but he was targetted by Wind as a potential source of runs. Four overs each of Lee and Larry were faced, with the scoring moderate but certainly not static before Bede received a ball from Lee which reared on him and he was out caught. Wind meanwhile, saw the end of Lee's spell, before going out to a ball bowled by Larry's replacement Dave, caught in the deep. The target was now only another 41, and Dawson and Taylor saw things through without any panic.
Flame of shame was given to Steve Martin, for leaving the Creature at home, which was presented in absentia to Arnie for some spirited ball chasing and returning, which saved quite a few runs. Bruiser announced that, while he was a cöck, Cöck gets you wickets. All pondered the meaning of that remark.
When everyone left to go to Bullet's stag do, Stevo was still trying to finish his Flame, as the rain began to fall.
He will be captaining an exciting 11 next week, with 13 Chargers out on wedding duty in various parts of the North Island, so perhaps he was making sure he was sober for that game. Unless he was attempting to absorb the Flame through his taste buds. Academics generally agree, however, that the one thing you don't do with the Flame of Shame is let it come into contact with your taste buds. Although this is quite a funny thing to do to a child or one of our simpler cousins. The look on their face is like the look on someone's face after sticking their tongue onto the terminal of a 9 volt battery, only more so.
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